Sex Clubs

There are sex and swinger clubs in nearly ever state in the US. However, many people choose to rely on hookup apps (on their phones), a few apps are: Blendr (gay/straight/bi), Tinder (gay/straight/bi), Her (women only), Scruff (men only), and Grindr (men only).

Sex Club Etiquette

The etiquette of a sex club is highly related to what kind it is. Swinger clubs have more rules, gay men’s clubs have fewer rules. In both cases, a membership is often required, however these are usually available on your first visit for a fee.

Before going

2 things to do before going

1. figure out what you are willing to do with a stranger
2. know your status – get STD tested

Swinger clubs etiquette: generally, men are required to be with a woman in order to enter and women are usually fine to come alone. Many swinger clubs have rules posted at the door. If not, the golden rule is: always ask first. Consent is a big deal at these clubs and the best way to get consent is to clearly ask, get a clear answer, and never do more than you discussed.

Gay men’s clubs etiquette: usually you will enter the club and immediately change into a towel. At this point, taking a shower is a good idea. You may want to bring shower shoes, but it’s not always required. Shower between each partner. If you are turned down, take it in stride. Equally, if you want to turn someone down, do it nicely.

In your area

• For a list of swinger’s clubs, see the Swing Lifestyle website.
• To find sex clubs in your area, you can look on Yelp.com or Google.com using the terms “Adult sex club” and your location.

In the San Francisco area

There are many different sex clubs and play parties in the San Francisco Bay Area. Most of these clubs/parties are specific to certain genders and orientations.

If you have questions about etiquette to do once you get to a club or want information on how to find clubs in your area, give us a call or email 415-989-SFSI or ask-us@sfsi.org. 

We have separated these clubs into:

• men’s clubs (generally gay/bisexual),
• straight/bisexual/lesbian/pansexual/swinger (for men and women), and
• all genders/orientations (which might have specific parties devoted to certain genders and orientations).