Q: How much masturbation is too much?
A: Probably not, is the short answer to this question. But here are two yardsticks you might use to get an idea if you’re wanking too much:
Is it interfering with your life? If you’re masturbating so much that you’re not getting your work done, or your partner is getting mad at you because you haven’t done your household chores for the last week, or any of a variety of things like that, then yes, perhaps you are masturbating too much.
Does your body hurt? Are you rubbed raw, chafed, or bleeding? If so, that’s also a good clue that you’re doing it too much (or perhaps too aggressively).
If none of these things is a problem, enjoy! Masturbation is fun, it relieves stress, it can make you a better lover, and very few people commit heinous crimes while masturbating.
For both men and women, masturbation is generally very healthy for you!
For more information…
The following books give good information on masturbation:
- Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving by Betty Dodson (Crown Publishers, 1987).
- Solo Sex: Advanced Techniques by Dr. Harold Litten (Factor Press, 1992).
Q: Why do some people masturbate when they have partners?
A: Masturbation is different than other kinds of sex. When you masturbate, you don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else. When you masturbate, you give yourself a different kind of stimulation than with other kinds of sex.
Some people like to masturbate (whether or not they have a partner) to help themselves understand their own body, what makes them feel good, and how to relax and enjoy their body. These can be valuable things and add good things to a couple’s sex play together.
Variety can keep a couple’s sex life from getting dull, so many bring masturbation into their (non-solo) sex play. You can masturbate each other, and you can watch each other masturbate. You can even combine it with other activities. For instance, the majority of women cannot reach orgasm with penis-vagina penetration alone, so some women (and their partners) enjoy a “hands-on” approach with the clitoris during sexual intercourse.
Some people worry that their partner’s masturbation is a sign of trouble in the relationship or in their sex play. It’s not generally a sign of trouble. It is just another type of sex play that many men and many women enjoy that’s different from partnered sex. Masturbation is a normal healthy sexual activity.